Setting The Scene
In Part 1 of Women At Work Are Waking Up, Truth Bomb 3 revealed that waking-up is about TRUE transformation and true transformation is based on Love.
Yes I dared to share the L word in the context of work and felt wonderfully backed-up in doing so by the recent World Economic Forum’s discussions about LQ, the Love Quotient, as being essential in our future.
I also shared the nutshell version (quoted below) of my Loving Change Approach, an approach which supports you in loving you, as you navigate the hither-to unexplored waters of waking-up at work.
“…when we bring love into the equation, our experience of our own waking up transition process is radically altered and it stands us in good stead to create change in the outer world from a foundation of fullness, ease and joy rather than lack, striving and misery!”
Now, in Part 2, I shall share the fuller version of The Loving Change Approach revealing the 9 core elements comprising it. Some of these elements may surprise you. They will almost certainly be counter-cultural because we live in a world that values, recognises and approves of drive, push, speed and making it happen (fast!). And true change is rarely a result of these characteristics. It is a result of Love.
The 9 elements are really skills which the new wave of change makers will need as they build their Love Quotient and journey forth into leading from the newly awakened place of their heart. I’ve gathered them from over two decades of experience in my professional and personal life noticing (and continuing to notice) most attempts at real change go pear-shaped because Love left the room or simply wasn’t there in the first place. And when Love is absent, fear-based reactions like comparison, blame, shame, control, judgment and doubt all have chance to settle in, run the show and close down the possibilities and potentials for positive lasting change.
In the context of you waking-up at work we will be focussing on your personal leadership transformation but please remember that with a bit of lateral and expansive thinking, the approach can be applied collectively to a team or a business.
Before we dive in, a word about going easy on yourself and being patient in your own process. This is absolutely not about getting it right or perfect. You are human. Waking-up is a slow, beautiful, messy and infinitely worthwhile process. I started my process about 20 years ago and I’m not ‘done’. I don’t think I ever will be, but in each new layer of waking-up I experience a deepening wisdom. I also get to experience what it feels like when I refuse the call. And I have done this. On more than one occasion. It’s doesn’t feel good at all. Tortuous is probably the word for it and it always reflects a loss of connection to my heart. (More on my Wake Up Story in Part 3 of this series).
So without further ado, here is a summary version of the 9 elements of the approach. Please read a few times especially if these ideas are new to you. Give them a chance to percolate into the part of you that recognises and knows.
Applying these elements to your waking-up experience will support you greatly in transforming resistance, control and exhaustion into responsiveness, allowing and wellness as you build a strong stable authentic foundation from which to lead and make the change you’re here to make.
Off we go!
The Nine Core Elements Of The Loving Change Approach
- Connect: Inside and out. Inner connection gives you the stability, confidence and presence to navigate the sometimes scary territory of moving into the unknown. It cultivates your intuition as a powerful decision making tool and also opens the doorway for you to access your inner calling and what truly fulfils you. Outer connection builds friendships, invaluable support networks, community, divine inspiration and Love. Inner and outer connection combined is the gateway to wisdom.
- Honesty: Be compassionately honest with yourself. Meet yourself where you are in your waking up adventure and start from there. Honour yourself every step of the way. Be curious about what you discover. Don’t get involved with other peoples’ heroics. Be honest about both your vulnerability and your mastery. No more pretending. No more self-editing. No more playing small either.
- Allow: Let go of what no longer serves and let the good things in. What is wanting to happen? Be open to receive the gifts your soul has to offer. Allow it to be easy. Stop forcing, striving and blocking. Tap into the flow and rhythm of change and trust it.
- Nurture: Support yourself deeply as you move through transition. Simplify. Give yourself permission to make self-care a sacred habit and non-negotiable aspect of how you live. Appreciate and celebrate who you are. Remember you’re a woman with rhythms and cycles and sensuality. Honour what you need.
- Gladness: Cultivate joy and awe in the little things. Play. Find the sacred in the everyday even if your world seems unstable and challenging right now. Laugh as much as you’re able. Notice the cycles and unconditional beauty of the natural world.
- Experience: Be willing to experience all your feelings unconditionally, without reactivity and without over-analysing. Feeling your feelings is the key to wholeness and being at ease in dancing with both the joys and the losses of deep change. It supports you in moving gracefully through transition and transformation.
- Speak up: Express yourself authentically with others and have real conversations so that you can establish strong relationships and sacred standards. Say what you mean and mean what you say. With kindness. Without apology. With Love. This will become even more important as you move into leading with Soul and making change in the outer world.
- Identity: Remember the innate worth of who you are. It’s easy to forget this in the messy nature of waking-up. Let go of others’ expectations of you and out-dated expectations you have of yourself. A new and truer identity is ready to emerge (this transition can be terrifying by the way!). You are growing into and becoming a fuller expression of you as you claim yourself as a powerful soulful change maker in your life and the world.
- Take intentional and vision-oriented action: With your calling as foundation, create your authentic and heart-sourced vision for change in the world. Align with that vision, focus, take action, reflect, learn, focus, take more action, reflect, learn…repeat.
Imagine for a moment what your experience of waking up and transitioning into a new phase of your leadership will be like, deeply connected to the stability, confidence and presence which is always available inside of you, feeling healthy and energised and on purpose, aligned to your vision for change, taking action from an authentic foundation, and being fully and gloriously you!
This is possible. With a Loving Change Approach.
For the astute amongst you, you may have noticed the acronym CHANGES IT (I can’t help it…it’s the consultant in me). This can be a useful reminder to you that Loving Change CHANGES IT. When you bring love into the equation everything changes.
There are very few role models for this way of navigating change. That’s why the world needs you to lead the way.
I want to offer you a collective vision. A vision of a world where this loving way of experiencing and leading change is embedded in the very fabric of our society. Each of us has a key role to play in this vision because without us it cannot happen. We are the new wave of change makers. We show the way. By responding to events within and around us with Love we can create ease and expand a higher intelligence into the darkest of places. Through our loving presence together we change the world.
To help you integrate and make meaning of the Loving Change Approach I suggest you reflect on the 9 elements and choose one that really speaks to you in some way. It might be because you have a strong reaction (there are usually golden nuggets of insight and learning in reactions) or because you recognise the element as currently missing in the way you are navigating change and transition right now. Then spend some time considering how you can generate new habits and behaviours that will support you in embodying the learning of your chosen element.
And remember. I’m here for you. I’ve learned and lived the Loving Change Approach. I continue to learn and live it every single day. Without perfection. With willingness. I can help you do the same. If you want to discuss any aspect of the Loving Change Approach in the context of your situation please do book a free half hour call with me HERE.
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Author: Mandy Muckalt
An experienced facilitator and coach supporting professionals to lead and live from wholeness, and to flourish in turbulent times.